twenty something and amazed

you have loved me for years but you didn't see me

you saw my talent but never the full potential

you loved our life but never our future

you desired me but didn't appreciate me

fast forward... here we stand

with passion in your eyes,

adoration in your words,

dedication on your lips and

comfort in your arms

you see me.

you "get" me.

you love me.

twenty something and counting down

10 ... o'clock at night

9 ... what time i should have gotten up this morning

8 ... the time you should be here tomorrow

7 ... loads of laundry to fold before you get here

6 ... the number of outfits i've tried on for when you get here

5 ... hours worked today waiting for you to get here

4 ... the number of times i've had to reset the power in my house so it will be on when you get here

3 ... days of your smile being here

2 ... number of tables to serve before you get here

1 ... more night of going to sleep without you

twenty something and impatient

AAAAHHHHH 2 more days !

2 more days....

2 more days....

2 more days....

2 more days....

2 more days....

twenty something and day dreaming

day dreaming of places not here...

of events to come...

of people i miss....

of possibilities unforeseen...

of napa, sonoma, disney, france, spain, italy...

of actually falling asleep tonight...

twenty something and random

yup. that's me... random! i can think of no better word to describe what happens to me and by me and as a result of me... just random.

on a lighter note, there are some things in the works that may make my life exponentially better. stay tuned (both of you that "randomly" read my blog)

but alas, for me tis time for bed. valentines weekend is upon us and my depression as a server...a single server...a single 26 year old server...a single 26 year old server in a tiny town... is only worsened by the rose-colored, champagne popping, engagement ring in the dessert doom awaiting me for the next 3 days. UGH! glad i stocked up on coffee.

but no matter, another day... another table... another steak... another check... another tip.

night night!

twenty something and implacable

attempting to forgive... failing

attempting to forget... failing

attempting to move past... failing

attempting to progress.... failing

attempting to be inspired... failing

attempting to heal... failing

attempting to stand, yet again, regardless of the agonizing weight of it all, the aching body rendered weary, the burning eyes which house no more tears, the shards of my heart piercing flesh as i push up from the floor... succeeding.

i am not perfect, i am not extraordinary. I possess no supernatural powers of strength or intelligence. I carry no genetic advancements or prodigious level talents. However, i am steadfast in my resolve to stand and continue to stand until i accomplish my goals.