my first giant slushy

yesterday was a lot of firsts for me.1. first official snow day

2. First official snow day from work

3. first official "heavy" snow

4. First time driving in snow

it was crazy! my car did great (minus the obviously possessed alarm system) so here a just a few pictures to show you how my day went.

twenty something and distracted

here i am steadfast and determined... unwavering... a veritable fortress.... and yet that tiny little voice. They creep in so quietly, so stealthily. Do you intend to do this? do you try to make me crumble? unfortunately for me, i rather enjoy it.

sweet sweet misery.

(p.s. for the record this is not a sad post, not depressed or down-trodden. actually quite the opposite)

twenty something and determined

For anyone still holding out hope that i will post some beautifully poetic monologue on the meaning of life or something... you obviously don't know me.

So for tonight i have come up with something i need to hear personally and maybe you do too.

I will not give up. I am strong and determined to succeed. Although at this date and time my prospects looks about as bleak as my credit score, i will not be deterred! I will make it, come hell or high water (and i've had both recently). It's true that i may not be able to pay some bills on time, buy anything for myself and can probably barely afford food; but i don't care. I WILL succeed.

Mark my words... These loans will be paid off in the near future. My car will be paid off THIS year! and i WILL have a job in the next two months!

Not too profound but it's what i need to hear!

twenty something and bothered

So, it's been a while (you should be used to it by now), sorry for the negligence! It's been one hell of a roller-coaster these last couple of months.

Here's a short recap to catch you up before i get to the meat of this post....

July - left my "day job" which turned out to be a total sham! Thanks for that!

August - Went to Chicago with Jenn, left me painfully short on cash but quite frankly worth every second! Can't wait to go back!!!

September - broke up with the guy i had been dating for a few months. Learned a few lessons, a. don't date someone so much younger than you; b. dating someone 2 hours away is pretty hard

October - starting dating a new guy. He was wonderful! i knew almost instantly that this could really be something special.

November - he came back in town on thanksgiving (so i didn't go to my family reunion... sadness) which became our first "official" date.

December - CANCUUUUUUUUN! We might as well have been filming a short documentary for MTV on why you should never take a trip with 6 women! Oh well, I'd go back. (just with different circumstances!) Also that boy came in town for christmas, with the intention of us driving to MN to meet his family. Blizzard hit. No MN. So we re-packed and went to florida to be with my family. (No sense in not bein with family right?) GREAT! meet the family, it's casual, everything is going swimmingly.

January - relationship is over. Lessons learned... a. everyone has baggage, question is how much are you willing to help carry? b. dating someone 12 hours away is even harder! c. i realized how unhappy i had been over the last few years and how much i missed being the happy-go-lucky amy!

And finally, which is the real point of this post... I also received an email from my Tally Ex. haven't talked to him in the two years since we broke up. Thought I was gonna marry him. Problem is he didn't think the same thing. (sadness again) Apparently my blog is too depressing. I didn't think that was the case but what do I know? My attempt was a sounding board for thought provoking posts. I realize that sometimes inspiration to write comes from a place of anger or sadness and so yes, I have posted in that sort of tone before.

Please allow me to take a moment to now clarify. Yes, the last 3 or 4 years of my life have been painful due to unspeakable suffering and loss, growing pains, separation, anxiety, stress (both good and bad) and trial and error and of course, learning experiences. But i'm here to tell you that for the last 3 months, I've been happy. I'm finding joy in life again (maybe not so much MINE specifically but life in general). I'm talking with God again and we are ok. I'm working through all that baggage that i've carried around for so long. And anyone who knows me, has recognized it and applauded it.

I've also learned this month to stop surrounding myself with negativity. Ya, it may seem like a simple lesson but not always. Stress and unhappiness can come from such unlikely places, sometimes the very thing that you claim to make you happy.

So, now that you have stopped reading and are thoroughly bored, i will say adieu.

twenty something and blushing

so last i had a conversation that made me wish... for many things. I can't explain it. well i can but i probably won't for fear of regretting it. I read a chapter from Julie Powell today that made me think. Yes, we are in fact living in a time of instant gratification which leads us to things like blogging. Instantly uploading our every thoughts and whims into a page that we are convinced someone is dying to read.

but is my life really that exciting? do you really want to know who i talked to and what it made me wish for...............